Now for the moment you've all been waiting for...I WENT ON A LDS SINGLES CRUISE!!!!! Yes I did and I really can't believe I went either. I had been feeling restless and I really wanted to travel. This year was going to be my and Clint's 9yr wedding anniversary and he promised me that this was the year we would go on a cruise to celebrate. I thought long and hard and decided that dang it, I am still going on a cruise with or without him and since it was most definitely without him that I was pretty sure that he would be going along with me in spirit. On facebook I noticed an ad for the 1,000 Saints at Sea. So I checked it out and found out that it was a LDS singles cruise for 5 days to Cabo San Lucas Mexico. It sounded perfect, so I talked to my BFF/fellow widow/soul sista Jami and we decided that we were so going together.
I had lots to figure out before the cruise but the most important thing on my plate was finding people to watch the kids, people that I trusted 100% and would take care of my kids as if they were their own. The answer was pretty obvious...my sisters!!! Val already lives with me so she could watch them but someone else would need to watch them while she was at work. I called my sister Robin and asked if she would come out and I would pay for her airplane ticket. She talked with her boyfriend and got ready to come spend 2 weeks at my house watching the kids and hanging out with Val and me once I got back. I was totally excited and nervous!!
I think the day came faster than I thought it would but I had my passport and I was so ready to travel. My flight took me to Las Vegas and then onward to San Diego where our ship was docked. Jami and I made sure that our flights got to San Diego around the same time so we could go to the ship together. We ended up in two totally different sections of the airport and we had no idea how to get to each other and to the cruise ship. Luckily she saw a guy in a red hat that said "Carnival" on it and found out that there was a bus taking people to the cruise ship. She called me and told me to find a red hat guy and with some luck I found him and they were able to get us on the same bus. We were of course totally giddy and excited when we found each other and we were on our way to the cruise ship.
There is so much to write about this trip and how it really changed me so it might take a few posts to get it all in so sit back and enjoy the ride...I mean...sit back and cruise on through these next few posts...OK that was LAME!! Ha ha I am a dork sometimes, just enjoy and if you are lucky I might post a few pics :)
Once we got to the dock I was shocked at how many people there were. It felt like we were a bunch of cattle slowly being led to the final destination. We had to go through this long line to get through security and then to finally check in and get to the right ship. It was all very boring and exciting at the same time. (Hey it was my first cruise!) On the way up into the ship I swear there were tons of workers waiting to take your picture, that is how it was the whole cruise, every where you looked there was the "paparazzi" now I know how the celebrities feel!!
It didn't take us long to find our room because we were on the first floor of rooms once you get on the ship...in other words...the farthest away from where all the activities were. We seriously had to walk up 100 stairs to get to dinner and where all the activities were. I got bored one day so I counted For some reason when I counted I only counted 80 stairs but then an awesome guy named Todd was walking down to his room when I was walking to mine and he counted 100 stairs, so I counted again and sure enough it was 100, my poor children are really going to need math tutors. Anyways...
We got to our room and there was only one, single bed.We had no idea what we were going to do about the sleeping arrangements but we would figure them out later. There was a whole group of widows and widowers that we knew from Utah on the ship and we really wanted to find them. We found the girls pretty quick there were three of them in a room and three beds. Then we looked at one of the beds and realized it was screwed into the wall and somehow you could close it up and it looks like a big box on the wall and guess what...we had a big box on our wall...so thankfully we had two beds in our room, problem solved. We hung out with them for a while and went back to our room to get our cameras and go up to the Lido deck and have our safety drill and wait for the ship to set sail.
Finally after what seemed like an ETERNITY our ship set sail. It was the coolest thing except for the fact that you have to learn to walk all over again it is a good thing I don't drink because some of the drunks on the ship were worse of than I was when it came to walking. We went back to our room to check the schedule and get ready for dinner. We had early dinner and our tables were assigned to us so I was pretty excited to meet who were going to be our dinner companions for the rest of the cruise. We got all dolled up and went down there and low and behold our table had 1 older lady (who is the world's biggest angel and my new "aunt") and 3 good looking guys...SWEET!! I had a feeling we were going to be enjoying our dinners!!
Monday, July 12, 2010
Monday, July 5, 2010
Clean up in aisle 3
So I have this AMAZING friend and her name is Tera, I met her through the Mid-Singles group there in Boise she is my wing girl and one of my most favorite people. We were talking one day and decided that the guys there just don't ask people on dates and it was up to us to start something. Our original idea was to do a progressive dinner...we would get a couple of other girls on board and have appetizers and one place, dinner at another, dessert at the next one and end at mine for games and other fun stuff. We kinda had it planned but we needed to find a good day to do it. She was getting ready to go to a boot camp for teachers and I had my cruise coming up. So we picked the first weekend in April and then we realized that it was Easter and Conference weekend. So we changed our plan to do a scavenger hunt after the Priesthood Session on Saturday night.
While Tera was at her boot camp it was up to me and the other girls to finalize everything. We decided on a scavenger hunt at walmart, we had a list of things that each couple had to find and take pictures of. Then each of the teams had 5 dollars and had to buy a specific item to share after for the game we were going to play at Tera's house. The biggest surprise of this all was that we had no idea who our dates were going to be. We ended up inviting 4 guys that we thought were pretty cool, made envelopes with each of our names in one and they had to pick an envelope. Who ever they chose was their date for the night, which made it nice since it took off the pressure of "who do I ask out on a date and what if he says no!!"
We told the guys which walmart to meet us at and what time, we were so very excited. On the way over there I kept thinking there are two guys that I would have a blast with tonight I hope I get one of them but there is a third guy who just rubs me the wrong way I really hope I don't get him...well guess what...I DID!!! I was kinda shocked when he read my name but I was determined to make the best of it so let's call him BMW3.
We explained all the rules to every couple and off we went. It was so much fun, we didn't really have a strategy so we just went from the top of the list and worked our way down. He had to put a bra on so he got a pink bra and put it on his head, that picture is priceless!!! I had to put on boxers and so forth. We would occasionally see the other teams and just laugh and wave as we went by. Some of them we had to get creative with...one of them said to kiss in front of the fish. So we weren't going to kiss so we found two kissing frogs and held them up in front of the Flounder toy fish from Ariel and took the picture. It was so much fun running amuck in walmart as grownups! There were times that he complained about the scavenger hunt, didn't talk to me and other things but I tried to not let it bother me.
We were coming to the end of our list and we couldn't find any Mary Kate and Ashley stuff anywhere. So thankfully my sisters work at walmart and I knew that there was a kiosk in electronics that you can look stuff up on the walmart website if you couldn't find it in the store. So we ran back to electronics and typed it in and found TONS of Mary Kate and Ashley stuff so we took a pic of the screen and ran off to do the last thing...buy snacks for the games afterward. We bought our snacks and started calling people and we realized that we were the first ones done so WE WON!!! We were pretty excited about winning so we drove back to Tera's house and waited for everyone else to show up. Once they got there they were trying to say that we didn't win because some of our pics didn't follow the rules exactly BUT we were the only couple who didn't get approached and told off by management so I think that has to count for something!
Once everyone got there we ate ice cream and played battle of the sexes. It was hilarious...I think the boys cards were so much easier than our cards...we didn't know much about the guy things. So they ended up winning that. It was weird the whole time we were playing afterwards BMW3 was pretty cold to me. He didn't talk to me at all I didn't know what his deal was. Apparently everyone else was having a great time and noticed how he was acting. The very next day the girls called me and apologized for how he was acting towards me, they were determined to get to the bottom of it.
Then out of the blue BMW3 calls me to APOLOGIZE!!! I was pretty embarrassed that he called to apologize, I was just going to act like nothing happened. He said that it was a year ago that night that his wife did some pretty hurtful things that ended up on their divorce. I completely and totally understood. It seems like you can be chugging along doing great and then all of a sudden something happens that triggers a memory and can really affect how you feel. I told him I understood and that it was alright, he said that he really did have fun, thanked me for putting up with him and he hoped I didn't think he was a jerk.
All in all I think our planned group date was so much fun and I got to know other people pretty well and I DEFINITELY made some life long friends out of it. Now I wonder if we still want to have our progressive dinner...I guess we will just have to wait and see!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
What would you do?
Close your eyes and imagine this:
You suddenly find yourself a widow (I know not a pleasant thought) and you are not sure what to do with your life and you have 4 kids that depend on you. Suddenly you are given an idea and you take it as long as it takes you far away from your old life because it hurts too much to be there without him. You pack up and move over 18hrs away and start a "new life" from scratch. You finally get into a big, beautiful house. You spend lots of time and money painting, decorating and making it just the way you want it. You try to get your life and your kids' life back on track all the while facing doubts about what you are doing especially when they are voiced to you by others. All you can do is pray and ask for guidance.
Some days you think we are doing great everything will be just fine other days you just want to crawl in a hole somewhere. In the back of your mind you think maybe just maybe we should move back to be around family and friends that love and support us but this area has so much to offer the kids. Then one day your oldest says "Mom I LOVE Idaho but I LOVE Arizona much more." "Why?" you ask. He says "Because we have family and friends that love us." Then you say "But we have such a beautiful house here!!" Then the second oldest pipes up and say "Mom I don't care if we have a beautiful house here...I just want to go back to Arizona...I miss Grandma and all of my friends, I don't have any friends here, plus I miss daddy and going to his grave."
So you sit down and start to make a list of pros and cons of staying a going. You realize quickly that both places can be good for you and the kids, there really is no BEST answer. You start praying really, really hard and go to the Temple to just sit and think and hope the answer will come to you. You counsel with your Bishop, your old Bishop, your Mom, your Sister, your friend who is more like a Brother, 3 other Widows (1 who is in your exact position) and try to even counsel with your hubby and hope he is listening. Basically you come up with this: Either one is a good choice and maybe you just have to make the choice. You know that you were supposed to move here for a reason and maybe that reason has already been fulfilled. You were guided to read Joshua 1:9 and basically it says that the Lord is with you whithersoever thou goest.
So my question to you is...what would you do if you were in this situation? Would you stay put and try to make it work or would you go back ?
*Please comment on this one I would love to see what you would do!! :) *
You suddenly find yourself a widow (I know not a pleasant thought) and you are not sure what to do with your life and you have 4 kids that depend on you. Suddenly you are given an idea and you take it as long as it takes you far away from your old life because it hurts too much to be there without him. You pack up and move over 18hrs away and start a "new life" from scratch. You finally get into a big, beautiful house. You spend lots of time and money painting, decorating and making it just the way you want it. You try to get your life and your kids' life back on track all the while facing doubts about what you are doing especially when they are voiced to you by others. All you can do is pray and ask for guidance.
Some days you think we are doing great everything will be just fine other days you just want to crawl in a hole somewhere. In the back of your mind you think maybe just maybe we should move back to be around family and friends that love and support us but this area has so much to offer the kids. Then one day your oldest says "Mom I LOVE Idaho but I LOVE Arizona much more." "Why?" you ask. He says "Because we have family and friends that love us." Then you say "But we have such a beautiful house here!!" Then the second oldest pipes up and say "Mom I don't care if we have a beautiful house here...I just want to go back to Arizona...I miss Grandma and all of my friends, I don't have any friends here, plus I miss daddy and going to his grave."
So you sit down and start to make a list of pros and cons of staying a going. You realize quickly that both places can be good for you and the kids, there really is no BEST answer. You start praying really, really hard and go to the Temple to just sit and think and hope the answer will come to you. You counsel with your Bishop, your old Bishop, your Mom, your Sister, your friend who is more like a Brother, 3 other Widows (1 who is in your exact position) and try to even counsel with your hubby and hope he is listening. Basically you come up with this: Either one is a good choice and maybe you just have to make the choice. You know that you were supposed to move here for a reason and maybe that reason has already been fulfilled. You were guided to read Joshua 1:9 and basically it says that the Lord is with you whithersoever thou goest.
So my question to you is...what would you do if you were in this situation? Would you stay put and try to make it work or would you go back ?
*Please comment on this one I would love to see what you would do!! :) *
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
I GOT SCONED
There is this guy in my mid-singles group that I thought was pretty cute and I really wanted to get to know him but he was always FLOCKED by girls. One night he tells everyone about a 31+ dance and so I thought he is going to go and so am I!! I went to the dance he he was NO WHERE to be found and he NEVER showed up to the dance at all. Thankfully I knew another person there and we two-stepped and had fun together.
I went home from the dance and I got on Facebook (I know who doesn't right!?!) and low and behold there he was online. So our conversation went kind of like this:
Me: YOU STOOD ME UP!!!
Him: You went to the dance? How was it? I wasn't sure I was going to go but since I made the event it automatically put me as going. I am sorry!
Me: It was OK but some guy old enough to be my grandpa smacked my butt and Philip witnessed it!!
Him: Hey you know if it is a good dance if you come away with a butt smacking!! Just kidding, did you get the phone number of a HOT High Priest?
Me: Ha ha you are too funny!! I have two questions for you...#1... (I then proceeded to ask him a question about the Elders Quorum and the High Priest Group of our church that I have always wondered and he answered it for me). #2 Do you want to go on a date with me?
*Yes I really asked him on a date, I couldn't believe I did it and I thought I was going to throw up afterwards waiting for him to respond!!!!*
Him: Wow that is a little unorthodox...what do you have in mind?
Me: Well I can be a little unorthodox at times :) The possibilities are endless...go to dinner, go to a movie, go bowling. TP someones house...
Him: You are asking me on a date and making me plan it SHEESH!! What if we meet for dessert?
Me: I have no problems planning I am new here and I don't know the best places to go.
Him: Let's go to Merritt's Country Cafe, they have the best scones ever.
Me: OK how about Tuesday at 7:00pm?
Him: Sounds perfect
Me: OK see you then, see I can plan!!
I am still shocked that I asked him but I was way excited and couldn't wait for Tuesday to come!! Since I had no idea where it was I had to GPS it and it was father than I thought so I got there a little late and he was already there. This place was awesome, it was totally a ma and pa type of place and they totally know their "regulars" there. It is not a fancy place it is so down to earth and just very comfortable. I find him in a booth and he is still in his work clothes. He apologized for it (which was pretty sweet) and said he had an appt after work that ran a little long. I said that is no problem! Then I noticed the company logo and I totally knew from reading it what he did for a living...the company is Pilkington. I said so where do you work? He turns a little and shows me the side of his arm and says Pilkington. I said oh so you deliver windshields!! He looked at me for like 5 seconds and said yeah...how did you know? Nobody knows Pilkington!! I said well a lot of my married life Clint installed windshields and the majority of them came from Pilkington.
After that the conversation just totally flowed and it really never ceased. Even after we got our scones (which were totally yummy, not the kind of scones I have had before, they were more like elephant ears from the carnival) we would talk while we were eating. We had so much in common and our marriages really paralleled each other except for the fact that he is divorced and I am a widow. We talked and laughed and had so much fun and then we decided we should head home. I paid because I asked him and at the register he told the lady it was my first time there and she said well this is a nice date...you went out with a guy and lost your virginity...your scone virginity that is!!! We both looked at each other and busted up laughing...#1we had both been married so yeah...not virgins #2 we each have 4 kids.#3 we are LDS and dating with LDS standards so him taking my "scone virginity" is hilarious. I said I think we need to talk to our Bishop's and we laughed again!!
We head out to our cars and he notices my cracked windshield and I said no worries I am totally getting it fixed tomorrow. It turned out that he delivered my glass to the guy who was fixing my windshield. Then we stand out in the freezing cold and talk even more. It turns out that his mom and I ran our church choirs the same way and we have a lot in common. And him and I share a love of musicals and were comparing all of our favorites. We finally decided we were going to get frost bite if we didn't go, he gives me a hug and we head our separate ways.
I get in my car and look at the time and we had been talking for 2 1/2 hrs!!! It was crazy to me that we talked NON-STOP for that long and we could've kept going but we were COLD!!! It was a fun date and it showed me that you can go on a date with someone just to get to know them and there doesn't have to be anything romantic about it. You can just go and have a good time and it is OK!!!
I did see him again a few days later at a group date that my friend and I planned, I will definitely tell you about that...but as of last week this guy and my friend got engaged as of yesterday they aren't anymore!! I have no idea but I do know that my friend and this guy are absolutely ADORABLE together and I really hope they get back together because she deserves an AMAZING guy like him. Keep your fingers crossed for them!!!
I went home from the dance and I got on Facebook (I know who doesn't right!?!) and low and behold there he was online. So our conversation went kind of like this:
Me: YOU STOOD ME UP!!!
Him: You went to the dance? How was it? I wasn't sure I was going to go but since I made the event it automatically put me as going. I am sorry!
Me: It was OK but some guy old enough to be my grandpa smacked my butt and Philip witnessed it!!
Him: Hey you know if it is a good dance if you come away with a butt smacking!! Just kidding, did you get the phone number of a HOT High Priest?
Me: Ha ha you are too funny!! I have two questions for you...#1... (I then proceeded to ask him a question about the Elders Quorum and the High Priest Group of our church that I have always wondered and he answered it for me). #2 Do you want to go on a date with me?
*Yes I really asked him on a date, I couldn't believe I did it and I thought I was going to throw up afterwards waiting for him to respond!!!!*
Him: Wow that is a little unorthodox...what do you have in mind?
Me: Well I can be a little unorthodox at times :) The possibilities are endless...go to dinner, go to a movie, go bowling. TP someones house...
Him: You are asking me on a date and making me plan it SHEESH!! What if we meet for dessert?
Me: I have no problems planning I am new here and I don't know the best places to go.
Him: Let's go to Merritt's Country Cafe, they have the best scones ever.
Me: OK how about Tuesday at 7:00pm?
Him: Sounds perfect
Me: OK see you then, see I can plan!!
I am still shocked that I asked him but I was way excited and couldn't wait for Tuesday to come!! Since I had no idea where it was I had to GPS it and it was father than I thought so I got there a little late and he was already there. This place was awesome, it was totally a ma and pa type of place and they totally know their "regulars" there. It is not a fancy place it is so down to earth and just very comfortable. I find him in a booth and he is still in his work clothes. He apologized for it (which was pretty sweet) and said he had an appt after work that ran a little long. I said that is no problem! Then I noticed the company logo and I totally knew from reading it what he did for a living...the company is Pilkington. I said so where do you work? He turns a little and shows me the side of his arm and says Pilkington. I said oh so you deliver windshields!! He looked at me for like 5 seconds and said yeah...how did you know? Nobody knows Pilkington!! I said well a lot of my married life Clint installed windshields and the majority of them came from Pilkington.
After that the conversation just totally flowed and it really never ceased. Even after we got our scones (which were totally yummy, not the kind of scones I have had before, they were more like elephant ears from the carnival) we would talk while we were eating. We had so much in common and our marriages really paralleled each other except for the fact that he is divorced and I am a widow. We talked and laughed and had so much fun and then we decided we should head home. I paid because I asked him and at the register he told the lady it was my first time there and she said well this is a nice date...you went out with a guy and lost your virginity...your scone virginity that is!!! We both looked at each other and busted up laughing...#1we had both been married so yeah...not virgins #2 we each have 4 kids.#3 we are LDS and dating with LDS standards so him taking my "scone virginity" is hilarious. I said I think we need to talk to our Bishop's and we laughed again!!
We head out to our cars and he notices my cracked windshield and I said no worries I am totally getting it fixed tomorrow. It turned out that he delivered my glass to the guy who was fixing my windshield. Then we stand out in the freezing cold and talk even more. It turns out that his mom and I ran our church choirs the same way and we have a lot in common. And him and I share a love of musicals and were comparing all of our favorites. We finally decided we were going to get frost bite if we didn't go, he gives me a hug and we head our separate ways.
I get in my car and look at the time and we had been talking for 2 1/2 hrs!!! It was crazy to me that we talked NON-STOP for that long and we could've kept going but we were COLD!!! It was a fun date and it showed me that you can go on a date with someone just to get to know them and there doesn't have to be anything romantic about it. You can just go and have a good time and it is OK!!!
I did see him again a few days later at a group date that my friend and I planned, I will definitely tell you about that...but as of last week this guy and my friend got engaged as of yesterday they aren't anymore!! I have no idea but I do know that my friend and this guy are absolutely ADORABLE together and I really hope they get back together because she deserves an AMAZING guy like him. Keep your fingers crossed for them!!!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
I feel like I need to write
Honestly I haven't finished my posts about the widow/widowers conference because I can't find my dang notes!!!!! But today I feel like I need to write something and get myself back in the groove and when I find the notes I promise to finish about the conference if any of you are still interested in what I learned.
I have been thinking a lot lately about life and choices. We have been blessed with in this life with agency and sometimes I wonder if for people like me if that is also a curse. (sorry I am going to be blunt but I am grateful we have it) Normally if there was a decision to be made Clint and I would talk about it, pray about it and decide together. Then we would accept the consequences if there were any but we made the decision to the best of our ability.
Now here I am a widow, I am one that hates to make decisions anyways, I don't have Clint to hash out the details of every choice and have him to comfort me when it is a hard one. Also it seems like when you are a young widow EVERYONE has to question EVERYTHING little choice you make. I don't know if they are just trying to be protective, helpful or know-it-alls but sometimes it is annoying. I wouldn't mind if they gave advice on things that really matter like...where to live but on things like...when you should start dating it gets a little old.
Unfortunately not every answer is going to fall into your lap and you have to keep on trudging through until you find the right answer. This life is full of ups and downs and it seems like everyday you are facing something new but when I start to get overwhelmed I read this quote:
"There is nothing that we are enduring that Jesus does not understand, and He waits for us to go to our Heavenly Father in prayer. I testify that if we will be obedient and if we are diligent, our prayers will be answered, our problems will diminish, our fears will dissipate, light will come upon us, the darkness of despair will be dispersed, and we will be close to the Lord and feel of His love and of the comfort of the Holy Ghost. It is my prayer that we can find the faith, courage, and strength to endure to the end so that we may feel the joy of faithfully returning to the arms of our Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen."
I have been thinking a lot lately about life and choices. We have been blessed with in this life with agency and sometimes I wonder if for people like me if that is also a curse. (sorry I am going to be blunt but I am grateful we have it) Normally if there was a decision to be made Clint and I would talk about it, pray about it and decide together. Then we would accept the consequences if there were any but we made the decision to the best of our ability.
Now here I am a widow, I am one that hates to make decisions anyways, I don't have Clint to hash out the details of every choice and have him to comfort me when it is a hard one. Also it seems like when you are a young widow EVERYONE has to question EVERYTHING little choice you make. I don't know if they are just trying to be protective, helpful or know-it-alls but sometimes it is annoying. I wouldn't mind if they gave advice on things that really matter like...where to live but on things like...when you should start dating it gets a little old.
Unfortunately not every answer is going to fall into your lap and you have to keep on trudging through until you find the right answer. This life is full of ups and downs and it seems like everyday you are facing something new but when I start to get overwhelmed I read this quote:
"There is nothing that we are enduring that Jesus does not understand, and He waits for us to go to our Heavenly Father in prayer. I testify that if we will be obedient and if we are diligent, our prayers will be answered, our problems will diminish, our fears will dissipate, light will come upon us, the darkness of despair will be dispersed, and we will be close to the Lord and feel of His love and of the comfort of the Holy Ghost. It is my prayer that we can find the faith, courage, and strength to endure to the end so that we may feel the joy of faithfully returning to the arms of our Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen."
*Elder Robert D. Hales*
Here is one more that he says: We cannot expect to learn endurance in our later years if we have developed the habit of quitting when things get difficult now.
So in this life when we are totally overwhelmed with life and choices and are completely unsure if the path we are on is the right one we just need to remember to endure...keep on going until we get prompted to do something else. I am pretty sure that my kids are always watching me and if I get in the habit of quitting then they will learn that and that isn't at all what I want for them. So I guess I just answered one of my own questions...instead of moving back to AZ, when Joy leaves in August, I will just stick it out here. It would be so much easier to go back because I have so much love and support out there and people that are always willing to help. But I know I was told to move out here even though I don't know the reason why, so I guess I will just keep at it until I get told otherwise even though it will be difficult on me. I hope and pray that I can do it. I also hope and pray that you, my readers can keep on enduring and live life to its fullest.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
10 years already
Ok so I am not finishing my last story at the moment because I have been working on something else that I thought I just might share. This coming weekend is my 10 year reunion from High School (crazy I know and NO I am NOT OLD!!!). Since I can't make it they asked me to write a "What I have been doing the past 10yrs" update thing and I thought hey I haven't blogged in a while and I just wrote this for my classmates I will kill two birds with one stone and put it on my blog!! Lazy? Yeah probably. Good idea? ABSOLUTELY!!! So please enjoy the run down of my last 10 years out of High School!!!!!! ENJOY :)
What have I done with the last 10yrs of my life? I feel like I have lived an entire lifetime in the past 10yrs which if I really think about it I have lived an entire lifetime…I have lived, loved and lost…
Right after graduation I started school at Cochise Community College not really majoring in anything, just getting my basics out of the way. In December I moved out and into a place with Melissa Greene and Jennifer Kloos. We had tons of fun until I moved out right before I got married. I married my High School love Clinton Flake on February 16th 2001 in Las Vegas, Nevada. Umm…nope I wasn’t pregnant or anything we just decided that is where we wanted to get married and loved every minute of our wedding there. We lived in Benson, AZ for a little while longer until we decided to move to IDAHO!! In June of 2001 we headed out for Idaho and we lived with my cousin Joy and her husband Clinton. I worked at a Fitness Center and he worked as a debt collector for a cell phone company. We loved Idaho but the time came when we felt the need to move back to AZ so we left and moved into Thatcher, AZ. During this time I had two miscarriages pretty close together and it was really hard on me but thanks to a great husband I got through it.
Shortly after we got there I enrolled in the Safford School of Beauty to become a cosmetologist and Clinton quickly found work as a mechanic. On our 1yr anniversary we got sealed in the Mesa, AZ Temple and it was a wonderful time in our life. On May 16, 2002 our first child came into our life he was 8 days late and we were excited to have him, his name is Mathew James Flake he weighed in at 10lbs 12oz. Clinton moved jobs to E.A. Glass and in January of 2003 I graduated Beauty School and started working as a Cosmetologist. We bought our first house right after I graduated and moved into Safford, AZ it was the perfect house for our growing family. I shortly found out I was pregnant with our second child and had to stop working because of complications and Benjamin Harris Flake arrived on November 28, 2003 exactly one week early he weighed 7lbs 11oz.
After having 2 kids so close together we needed a break!!! Clinton started a new job at Valley Security where he stayed until last year. I started a Mary Kay business and did really well with it for quite some time. We basically lived our life happily for several years and we did a lot of traveling to visit and spend time with family that didn’t live close to us. The end of 2005 we found out I was expecting our third child and we were pretty excited. I had major problems with this pregnancy and was flown to Tucson where I stayed for 3 weeks until he came into our life 3 weeks early on July 31, 2006, his name is Nathan Lee Flake, he weighed 7lbs 4oz. Six weeks after he was born I enrolled in school with Joy, my Aunt Karen and my sister Valerie. We took 18 credits and at the end of the semester got our Medical Transcription Certificates. I started some part time work doing this but it is really hard to find a job in this field unless you have prior experience but I was glad to have something to fall back on “just in case” even though it wasn’t what I really wanted to do with my life.
After I had Nathan I was told I could only have 1 more child and we found out we were expecting not long after having him. I told Clint that this was my last shot for a girl and he better get it right!!! On January 14,2008 2 weeks early our little girl made her entrance into this world weighing in at 9lbs 10oz we named her Alizabeth Joy Flake. We had our family completed we had 4 kids in 5 years, Clinton had just bought Valley Security and I was staying home with our kids…life couldn’t be more perfect!!
In March of 2008 I came home from a trip and Clinton was pretty sick, which was surprising because he was NEVER sick!!! We took him to the Dr and they realized he was anemic he iron level was at a 7 and they were pretty shocked with that. So after some tests they decided to send him to a gastroenterologist who later said he had Ulcerative Colitis. We started a diet for him that took out 25 foods that he was told he was allergic to and if we took them out of his diet he would start to feel better. We did this for 6 months and he wasn’t getting any better and I was pretty concerned so I took him back to his specialist in January of 2009 and he stuck with his initial diagnosis. So we kept at it for another couple of moths. In March of 2009 he needed to get his first blood transfusion while we were there our family Dr wanted to do a CAT scan of his belly because he was concerned about it rupturing because he was pretty distended well that scan showed our worst fears…they found masses!!
From there they sent him to TMC and they did some biopsies and blood work and the results made my world stop: Stage IV Metastatic Colon Cancer, it had already spread to his liver. They started his first round of chemo the next day. We figured no problem we will get through this and he is going to beat it because he is only 28 and was always so healthy. We did 9 rounds of chemo and in between chemo treatments we would travel and just enjoy our life together. In August of 2009 we decided to do a major surgery that would remove his colon so that the chemo can start working on his liver. While they were in surgery they found cancer all over: his pelvis, abdomen, stomach, kidneys…basically everything from his liver to his colon was covered in cancer. We were shocked, we had no idea that his cancer was that extensive but we were still determined to fight it. As he was recovering from major surgery he just wasn’t doing well and he was not eating and on Sept 25th he slipped into a coma at home and I rushed him to the hospital and they realized he had no blood sugar because the cancer invaded his pancreas. We were able to pull him out of his coma and he looked at me and said it was his time to go home. I made the calls to all of our family and they started the trek to Safford to say their good-byes. The hardest people to tell were my children I didn’t think that conversation would ever take place. He talked and counseled over 100 people in the hospital on the next day and then he passed away on Sept 27th, 2009.
I still can’t believe that he is gone but I wouldn’t want anyone else watching over me and the kids than him. That day started my new life: April the Widow and single mother of 4 amazing children. I decided we needed a new start and I promised him that I would go to school to get the degree that I have always wanted and would make me happy. So in October 2009 I applied and auditioned for Boise State University and I got accepted. In November 2009 we left Safford and set out on our new life in Idaho. We have bought a house in Caldwell, ID and I am attending Boise State University for a degree in Music Education. We love it up here but miss our friends and family in Arizona but we visit as often as we can. So I have lived a whole lifetime in 10 years and it has been an amazing experience. I am sad that I can’t be there this weekend to see all of you but I hope you much happiness in your future. I have learned so much during these last 10 years and it will be amazing to see what the next 10 years brings me.
Much love!!
April Forbes Flake
What have I done with the last 10yrs of my life? I feel like I have lived an entire lifetime in the past 10yrs which if I really think about it I have lived an entire lifetime…I have lived, loved and lost…
Right after graduation I started school at Cochise Community College not really majoring in anything, just getting my basics out of the way. In December I moved out and into a place with Melissa Greene and Jennifer Kloos. We had tons of fun until I moved out right before I got married. I married my High School love Clinton Flake on February 16th 2001 in Las Vegas, Nevada. Umm…nope I wasn’t pregnant or anything we just decided that is where we wanted to get married and loved every minute of our wedding there. We lived in Benson, AZ for a little while longer until we decided to move to IDAHO!! In June of 2001 we headed out for Idaho and we lived with my cousin Joy and her husband Clinton. I worked at a Fitness Center and he worked as a debt collector for a cell phone company. We loved Idaho but the time came when we felt the need to move back to AZ so we left and moved into Thatcher, AZ. During this time I had two miscarriages pretty close together and it was really hard on me but thanks to a great husband I got through it.
Shortly after we got there I enrolled in the Safford School of Beauty to become a cosmetologist and Clinton quickly found work as a mechanic. On our 1yr anniversary we got sealed in the Mesa, AZ Temple and it was a wonderful time in our life. On May 16, 2002 our first child came into our life he was 8 days late and we were excited to have him, his name is Mathew James Flake he weighed in at 10lbs 12oz. Clinton moved jobs to E.A. Glass and in January of 2003 I graduated Beauty School and started working as a Cosmetologist. We bought our first house right after I graduated and moved into Safford, AZ it was the perfect house for our growing family. I shortly found out I was pregnant with our second child and had to stop working because of complications and Benjamin Harris Flake arrived on November 28, 2003 exactly one week early he weighed 7lbs 11oz.
After having 2 kids so close together we needed a break!!! Clinton started a new job at Valley Security where he stayed until last year. I started a Mary Kay business and did really well with it for quite some time. We basically lived our life happily for several years and we did a lot of traveling to visit and spend time with family that didn’t live close to us. The end of 2005 we found out I was expecting our third child and we were pretty excited. I had major problems with this pregnancy and was flown to Tucson where I stayed for 3 weeks until he came into our life 3 weeks early on July 31, 2006, his name is Nathan Lee Flake, he weighed 7lbs 4oz. Six weeks after he was born I enrolled in school with Joy, my Aunt Karen and my sister Valerie. We took 18 credits and at the end of the semester got our Medical Transcription Certificates. I started some part time work doing this but it is really hard to find a job in this field unless you have prior experience but I was glad to have something to fall back on “just in case” even though it wasn’t what I really wanted to do with my life.
After I had Nathan I was told I could only have 1 more child and we found out we were expecting not long after having him. I told Clint that this was my last shot for a girl and he better get it right!!! On January 14,2008 2 weeks early our little girl made her entrance into this world weighing in at 9lbs 10oz we named her Alizabeth Joy Flake. We had our family completed we had 4 kids in 5 years, Clinton had just bought Valley Security and I was staying home with our kids…life couldn’t be more perfect!!
In March of 2008 I came home from a trip and Clinton was pretty sick, which was surprising because he was NEVER sick!!! We took him to the Dr and they realized he was anemic he iron level was at a 7 and they were pretty shocked with that. So after some tests they decided to send him to a gastroenterologist who later said he had Ulcerative Colitis. We started a diet for him that took out 25 foods that he was told he was allergic to and if we took them out of his diet he would start to feel better. We did this for 6 months and he wasn’t getting any better and I was pretty concerned so I took him back to his specialist in January of 2009 and he stuck with his initial diagnosis. So we kept at it for another couple of moths. In March of 2009 he needed to get his first blood transfusion while we were there our family Dr wanted to do a CAT scan of his belly because he was concerned about it rupturing because he was pretty distended well that scan showed our worst fears…they found masses!!
From there they sent him to TMC and they did some biopsies and blood work and the results made my world stop: Stage IV Metastatic Colon Cancer, it had already spread to his liver. They started his first round of chemo the next day. We figured no problem we will get through this and he is going to beat it because he is only 28 and was always so healthy. We did 9 rounds of chemo and in between chemo treatments we would travel and just enjoy our life together. In August of 2009 we decided to do a major surgery that would remove his colon so that the chemo can start working on his liver. While they were in surgery they found cancer all over: his pelvis, abdomen, stomach, kidneys…basically everything from his liver to his colon was covered in cancer. We were shocked, we had no idea that his cancer was that extensive but we were still determined to fight it. As he was recovering from major surgery he just wasn’t doing well and he was not eating and on Sept 25th he slipped into a coma at home and I rushed him to the hospital and they realized he had no blood sugar because the cancer invaded his pancreas. We were able to pull him out of his coma and he looked at me and said it was his time to go home. I made the calls to all of our family and they started the trek to Safford to say their good-byes. The hardest people to tell were my children I didn’t think that conversation would ever take place. He talked and counseled over 100 people in the hospital on the next day and then he passed away on Sept 27th, 2009.
I still can’t believe that he is gone but I wouldn’t want anyone else watching over me and the kids than him. That day started my new life: April the Widow and single mother of 4 amazing children. I decided we needed a new start and I promised him that I would go to school to get the degree that I have always wanted and would make me happy. So in October 2009 I applied and auditioned for Boise State University and I got accepted. In November 2009 we left Safford and set out on our new life in Idaho. We have bought a house in Caldwell, ID and I am attending Boise State University for a degree in Music Education. We love it up here but miss our friends and family in Arizona but we visit as often as we can. So I have lived a whole lifetime in 10 years and it has been an amazing experience. I am sad that I can’t be there this weekend to see all of you but I hope you much happiness in your future. I have learned so much during these last 10 years and it will be amazing to see what the next 10 years brings me.
Much love!!
April Forbes Flake
Saturday, April 24, 2010
I promise
Hey everyone I am so sorry that I haven't updated in a while!!! I have been a super busy girl: a date, a cruise a procedure. So I promise I will finish the widow/widower's conference and everything else in between!!!!! So keep an eye out :)
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