This post has been a long time coming...apparently it has been well over a year since I have lost posted something. Not that I haven't had anything to say but I have been busy adjusting to moving yet again and to life here in Utah...yes I said Utah. Yes I have moved 3 different times since Clint passed away 2 years ago, it has been very hard to find my place in this world without him. We have been in Utah for a year now and do love it here though I really miss my family. Anyways back to the post at hand...
I have been very observant lately of "grown up" who have come from single parent families and how much I hope and pray my kids don't turn out like some the people I have seen. Some people may not agree with my parenting but I am just carrying on with what Clint and I decided. Here are a few things that we work on in our house...
1. Take Responsibility- I have seen so many people in this world try to blame others for their circumstances and in all actuality everything that "happens to them" is their responsibility. So if my kids spill their milk they need to take responsibility for it and clean it up...Alizabeth tried to tell me that her cereal bowl spilled itself and tried to get out of cleaning it up but after a quick chat she realized that it was her fault and dealt with it. Sometimes we just have to suck it up and face the consequences to our actions.
2. Show Respect- this is one thing that drives me up the wall. Yes you have your opinion and you are entitled to your opinion but say it in a way that still shows respect to the person you are talking to. It seems to me that more and more people are disrespectful which causes so many problems. I think I say this at least 20 times a day "please be more respectful to your brother/sister". Respect is something that will be help them get ahead in this world.
3. Chores Without Pay- yeah ok so people need a work ethic right? So how are kids supposed to know how to work if they don't get any work. I know a lady who grew up with a house keeper and now as a grown woman hates that fact because she doesn't know how to keep a house. Why without pay? Well do I get paid to clean the house? Nope, not a cent. Everyone dirties the house so everyone can pitch in and get it clean...it helps my kids learn how to be a team player.
4. Serve Others- Clint was very much into service. His dream was to be able to help people that couldn't afford Christmas presents, school clothes, or anything else that they may be struggling with. So we started early and got our kids into the habit of helping others. Their most favorite thing to do is make goodies and drop them off to people. It may seem like a small thing but it is the fact that they are learning to give. Clint always said "when your troubles are too hard to shoulder on your own, serve others and they will feel lighter". I am also trying to teach them that serving others doesn't just have to happen outside of the home, if you can serve your siblings you can serve anybody.
5. Be an Example- I am pretty sure that I tell this to my kids every day as they walk out the door. I don't think it matters what religion you belong to, but you should always strive to be the best so that people will want to be like you. I remember the people growing up that have been examples to me and still to this day I want to do things to be like them and bring pride to their memories.
Some days it feels like trying to get my kids to accomplish these things may never happen because it is 4 against 1 but I hope that Clint is on the other side pushing them right along. I think if I can get them to master at least one of these things they will make a contribution to the world and make it a little brighter and we will see a ripple effect from it...them touching one person's life who touches another person and so on...I hope that maybe, just maybe if I happen to stay single all the rest of my life that people can look at my kids and say "Wow, they don't fit the "single parent home" mold". I know we have a ways to go but I have to keep telling myself it will be worth doing what I do!!
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well, I think you are doing great! And if it makes you feel any better, I come from a single parent home. (If that doesn't make you feel better and you think, yeah you're just the kind of person I hope my kids don't end up like, well then oh, well). We are far from perfect, but my brothers and I are college grads, active members of the church (both my brothers are return missionaries) and I hope contributing to the world in a positive way. I know it's hard and probably seems impossible, but I know it is possible to break the mold and raise mature, responsible adults from a single-parent home.
ReplyDeleteWow thanks Sarah, that really gives me hope!! Everything just may work out after all :)
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