Tijuana here I come!!

Here are some things that you should know about me...obesity runs in my family, I used to be a toothpick when I got married but have 4 big children via c-section packed on weight and when I am under stress I am not one of the lucky ones that lose weight...I gain weight. It seems like I can just smell a doughnut and here comes 5 pounds. This is one of the things that I used to proclaim "wasn't fair" in my life and Clint would always counter "life is fair April...it just isn't equal" then I would usually roll my eyes and continue to fume inside (yes I have a bratty side). When I married Clint I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world. As I continued to be happily married to him (while gaining weight) I knew that I was the luckiest girl in the world. Not once did he ever talk down to me because of the weight that I gained. He used to tell me "April it really doesn't matter, after we die our bodies will be restored to its perfect state. Then we will have eternity like that together, this is just a small bit of time, I love you just the way you are!!! Isn't that all that matters?"

At the time yes it was all that mattered, I was happy, in love and struggling to lose weight so I could be happy with myself. So one day we were talking with some friends and came up with and idea. I needed a tool that could help me lose weight and sustain my new weight to help keep the weight from coming back...we decided that one of these days I was going to get the Lap-Band. After Clint passed away I was at my highest weight ever and I didn't know what to do. When I moved to Idaho I realized a couple of things #1: that Clint had to love me for eternity but the next man doesn't have to and he won't want someone who looks like me...does that make sense? and #2: my children need me healthy because I am the only parent they have left. I did the Body for Life program and I even did the  have HCG diet and both gave me results but when I was done the weight I had lost came back. I was talking to my friend Lucy and she again suggested the Lap-Band, gave me her Dr's name and number in Tijuana and I made the call. I looked at my calendar and realized that the best time for me to go to Tijuana was the day I got back from my cruise since I would already be in San Diego.

I was so excited about going but also pretty scared. At the time Tijuana was having MAJOR issues with drug lords and all of that stuff. People were getting kidnapped, shot at and mugged. I wasn't worried about getting kidnapped I mean come on...I am not the skinniest, prettiest girl in the world so no one would want to kidnap me. But I was worried about getting shot at and mugged, I was carrying a boat load of cash to pay for my procedure and I had 4 little ones at home that would miss me but I prayed and felt OK about going. My Dr sent me a driver to pick me up at the dock and she was so sweet, she calmed my fears, talked me through what I would experience and got me there safely. The best thing I think I did was make sure that my friend Lucy and her Mom would be there with me. Lucy has been with this Dr for 10yrs and knows the ins and outs of everything there. Her mom speaks Spanish and since the night staff there doesn't speak English I thought it was best if she could come too.

I got there and they weighed me and got me all prepped for my procedure, now we just had to wait on the Dr who was being held up with another procedure, which was fine by me since it gave me time to catch up with Lucy and tell her about my cruise. Finally the time came for me to have my procedure...I am not going to lie...I was scared out of my mind but I knew everything was going to be OK. It was hard to go in there alone because Clint had been with me at every other surgery I have had, so this was a first. I don't even remember them putting me to sleep but I do remember some of the waking up part and let me tell you I didn't expect this...

So I don’t remember any of what I am going to tell you, all of this was told to me by Lucy. Right after they were done they put me in the recovery room and all of a sudden I started sobbing uncontrollably. They tried to talk to me and see what was wrong but I wouldn’t respond to them. They were worried because everything went “as smooth as butter” according to my Dr and nothing should have been causing me that much grief. They went and got Lucy and told her what was wrong and asked her if she could try to get me to talk. As she walked in she said she remembered it feeling kinda weird in there but she couldn’t figure out why. She said “April what is wrong? Are you OK?” I mumbled a reply, she thought I said “Where is he? Where is Trent?” Which she thought was odd because I knew that Trent (Lucy’s husband) couldn’t come. She replied “Trent? Remember April Trent couldn’t come!” Then I sat up and yelled “No!! Not Trent…Clint!! Where is Clint? Where did he go? He was just here with me!!!!!” She was speechless, she didn’t know what to say to me. The staff was asking her who I was talking about and what they should do. She then explained to them my situation and who Clint was and that moment is when she realized what she was feeling. She has no doubt in her mind that Clint was there with me that day, she could feel his presence and then all of them…Lucy, her mom and the Dr and Nurses started to cry with me. She said that she felt to tell me that everything was going to be OK and that I should go back to sleep and then all of a sudden I nodded and laid back on my pillow and went back to sleep. I woke up a while later surprised that the procedure was so fast and that I was feeling not much pain at all. Later that night Lucy told me what happened and I cried again. I was so worried about doing this with out Clint by my side and in reality he was there with me all along, I should’ve known he would be there. I hope that the people there that day will remember what happened and realize that the people we lose never really leave us.

I stayed the night there and the next day Lucy and her mom had to get back to AZ so I went to the home of my driver, she takes care of the patients for the Dr's at her house before they go back to the USA. I met 3 other women who had procedures the same day I did and I became friends with one of them. She had the same procedure done and she lives in Washington. We exchanged numbers so we can keep in touch and update each other on our progress. I flew back home the next day, which was Saturday, I had been gone from my kiddos for a whole week and I missed them so much. I was sore and hungry but happy to be home. My sisters did an AMAZING job taking care of them for me and I am forever grateful for them.

Since I have had this procedure I have lost 50 pounds and I have much more energy than I ever have. I am still a long ways from being where I want to be. I am not allowed to eat white sugar, white flour or carbonation, that was hard at first to stick to but I don't think about it anymore. I am going to the gym when I can and eating good foods and teaching my kids the importance of diet and exercise. I love how I look, I am still not the skinniest person out there but I am happy with my appearance with one exception but sticking with the gym might help if not I know an excellent Drs in Tijuana and Phoenix who also do tummy tucks!!!! LOL