Close your eyes and imagine this:
You suddenly find yourself a widow (I know not a pleasant thought) and you are not sure what to do with your life and you have 4 kids that depend on you. Suddenly you are given an idea and you take it as long as it takes you far away from your old life because it hurts too much to be there without him. You pack up and move over 18hrs away and start a "new life" from scratch. You finally get into a big, beautiful house. You spend lots of time and money painting, decorating and making it just the way you want it. You try to get your life and your kids' life back on track all the while facing doubts about what you are doing especially when they are voiced to you by others. All you can do is pray and ask for guidance.
Some days you think we are doing great everything will be just fine other days you just want to crawl in a hole somewhere. In the back of your mind you think maybe just maybe we should move back to be around family and friends that love and support us but this area has so much to offer the kids. Then one day your oldest says "Mom I LOVE Idaho but I LOVE Arizona much more." "Why?" you ask. He says "Because we have family and friends that love us." Then you say "But we have such a beautiful house here!!" Then the second oldest pipes up and say "Mom I don't care if we have a beautiful house here...I just want to go back to Arizona...I miss Grandma and all of my friends, I don't have any friends here, plus I miss daddy and going to his grave."
So you sit down and start to make a list of pros and cons of staying a going. You realize quickly that both places can be good for you and the kids, there really is no BEST answer. You start praying really, really hard and go to the Temple to just sit and think and hope the answer will come to you. You counsel with your Bishop, your old Bishop, your Mom, your Sister, your friend who is more like a Brother, 3 other Widows (1 who is in your exact position) and try to even counsel with your hubby and hope he is listening. Basically you come up with this: Either one is a good choice and maybe you just have to make the choice. You know that you were supposed to move here for a reason and maybe that reason has already been fulfilled. You were guided to read Joshua 1:9 and basically it says that the Lord is with you whithersoever thou goest.
So my question to you is...what would you do if you were in this situation? Would you stay put and try to make it work or would you go back ?
*Please comment on this one I would love to see what you would do!! :) *
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
I GOT SCONED
There is this guy in my mid-singles group that I thought was pretty cute and I really wanted to get to know him but he was always FLOCKED by girls. One night he tells everyone about a 31+ dance and so I thought he is going to go and so am I!! I went to the dance he he was NO WHERE to be found and he NEVER showed up to the dance at all. Thankfully I knew another person there and we two-stepped and had fun together.
I went home from the dance and I got on Facebook (I know who doesn't right!?!) and low and behold there he was online. So our conversation went kind of like this:
Me: YOU STOOD ME UP!!!
Him: You went to the dance? How was it? I wasn't sure I was going to go but since I made the event it automatically put me as going. I am sorry!
Me: It was OK but some guy old enough to be my grandpa smacked my butt and Philip witnessed it!!
Him: Hey you know if it is a good dance if you come away with a butt smacking!! Just kidding, did you get the phone number of a HOT High Priest?
Me: Ha ha you are too funny!! I have two questions for you...#1... (I then proceeded to ask him a question about the Elders Quorum and the High Priest Group of our church that I have always wondered and he answered it for me). #2 Do you want to go on a date with me?
*Yes I really asked him on a date, I couldn't believe I did it and I thought I was going to throw up afterwards waiting for him to respond!!!!*
Him: Wow that is a little unorthodox...what do you have in mind?
Me: Well I can be a little unorthodox at times :) The possibilities are endless...go to dinner, go to a movie, go bowling. TP someones house...
Him: You are asking me on a date and making me plan it SHEESH!! What if we meet for dessert?
Me: I have no problems planning I am new here and I don't know the best places to go.
Him: Let's go to Merritt's Country Cafe, they have the best scones ever.
Me: OK how about Tuesday at 7:00pm?
Him: Sounds perfect
Me: OK see you then, see I can plan!!
I am still shocked that I asked him but I was way excited and couldn't wait for Tuesday to come!! Since I had no idea where it was I had to GPS it and it was father than I thought so I got there a little late and he was already there. This place was awesome, it was totally a ma and pa type of place and they totally know their "regulars" there. It is not a fancy place it is so down to earth and just very comfortable. I find him in a booth and he is still in his work clothes. He apologized for it (which was pretty sweet) and said he had an appt after work that ran a little long. I said that is no problem! Then I noticed the company logo and I totally knew from reading it what he did for a living...the company is Pilkington. I said so where do you work? He turns a little and shows me the side of his arm and says Pilkington. I said oh so you deliver windshields!! He looked at me for like 5 seconds and said yeah...how did you know? Nobody knows Pilkington!! I said well a lot of my married life Clint installed windshields and the majority of them came from Pilkington.
After that the conversation just totally flowed and it really never ceased. Even after we got our scones (which were totally yummy, not the kind of scones I have had before, they were more like elephant ears from the carnival) we would talk while we were eating. We had so much in common and our marriages really paralleled each other except for the fact that he is divorced and I am a widow. We talked and laughed and had so much fun and then we decided we should head home. I paid because I asked him and at the register he told the lady it was my first time there and she said well this is a nice date...you went out with a guy and lost your virginity...your scone virginity that is!!! We both looked at each other and busted up laughing...#1we had both been married so yeah...not virgins #2 we each have 4 kids.#3 we are LDS and dating with LDS standards so him taking my "scone virginity" is hilarious. I said I think we need to talk to our Bishop's and we laughed again!!
We head out to our cars and he notices my cracked windshield and I said no worries I am totally getting it fixed tomorrow. It turned out that he delivered my glass to the guy who was fixing my windshield. Then we stand out in the freezing cold and talk even more. It turns out that his mom and I ran our church choirs the same way and we have a lot in common. And him and I share a love of musicals and were comparing all of our favorites. We finally decided we were going to get frost bite if we didn't go, he gives me a hug and we head our separate ways.
I get in my car and look at the time and we had been talking for 2 1/2 hrs!!! It was crazy to me that we talked NON-STOP for that long and we could've kept going but we were COLD!!! It was a fun date and it showed me that you can go on a date with someone just to get to know them and there doesn't have to be anything romantic about it. You can just go and have a good time and it is OK!!!
I did see him again a few days later at a group date that my friend and I planned, I will definitely tell you about that...but as of last week this guy and my friend got engaged as of yesterday they aren't anymore!! I have no idea but I do know that my friend and this guy are absolutely ADORABLE together and I really hope they get back together because she deserves an AMAZING guy like him. Keep your fingers crossed for them!!!
I went home from the dance and I got on Facebook (I know who doesn't right!?!) and low and behold there he was online. So our conversation went kind of like this:
Me: YOU STOOD ME UP!!!
Him: You went to the dance? How was it? I wasn't sure I was going to go but since I made the event it automatically put me as going. I am sorry!
Me: It was OK but some guy old enough to be my grandpa smacked my butt and Philip witnessed it!!
Him: Hey you know if it is a good dance if you come away with a butt smacking!! Just kidding, did you get the phone number of a HOT High Priest?
Me: Ha ha you are too funny!! I have two questions for you...#1... (I then proceeded to ask him a question about the Elders Quorum and the High Priest Group of our church that I have always wondered and he answered it for me). #2 Do you want to go on a date with me?
*Yes I really asked him on a date, I couldn't believe I did it and I thought I was going to throw up afterwards waiting for him to respond!!!!*
Him: Wow that is a little unorthodox...what do you have in mind?
Me: Well I can be a little unorthodox at times :) The possibilities are endless...go to dinner, go to a movie, go bowling. TP someones house...
Him: You are asking me on a date and making me plan it SHEESH!! What if we meet for dessert?
Me: I have no problems planning I am new here and I don't know the best places to go.
Him: Let's go to Merritt's Country Cafe, they have the best scones ever.
Me: OK how about Tuesday at 7:00pm?
Him: Sounds perfect
Me: OK see you then, see I can plan!!
I am still shocked that I asked him but I was way excited and couldn't wait for Tuesday to come!! Since I had no idea where it was I had to GPS it and it was father than I thought so I got there a little late and he was already there. This place was awesome, it was totally a ma and pa type of place and they totally know their "regulars" there. It is not a fancy place it is so down to earth and just very comfortable. I find him in a booth and he is still in his work clothes. He apologized for it (which was pretty sweet) and said he had an appt after work that ran a little long. I said that is no problem! Then I noticed the company logo and I totally knew from reading it what he did for a living...the company is Pilkington. I said so where do you work? He turns a little and shows me the side of his arm and says Pilkington. I said oh so you deliver windshields!! He looked at me for like 5 seconds and said yeah...how did you know? Nobody knows Pilkington!! I said well a lot of my married life Clint installed windshields and the majority of them came from Pilkington.
After that the conversation just totally flowed and it really never ceased. Even after we got our scones (which were totally yummy, not the kind of scones I have had before, they were more like elephant ears from the carnival) we would talk while we were eating. We had so much in common and our marriages really paralleled each other except for the fact that he is divorced and I am a widow. We talked and laughed and had so much fun and then we decided we should head home. I paid because I asked him and at the register he told the lady it was my first time there and she said well this is a nice date...you went out with a guy and lost your virginity...your scone virginity that is!!! We both looked at each other and busted up laughing...#1we had both been married so yeah...not virgins #2 we each have 4 kids.#3 we are LDS and dating with LDS standards so him taking my "scone virginity" is hilarious. I said I think we need to talk to our Bishop's and we laughed again!!
We head out to our cars and he notices my cracked windshield and I said no worries I am totally getting it fixed tomorrow. It turned out that he delivered my glass to the guy who was fixing my windshield. Then we stand out in the freezing cold and talk even more. It turns out that his mom and I ran our church choirs the same way and we have a lot in common. And him and I share a love of musicals and were comparing all of our favorites. We finally decided we were going to get frost bite if we didn't go, he gives me a hug and we head our separate ways.
I get in my car and look at the time and we had been talking for 2 1/2 hrs!!! It was crazy to me that we talked NON-STOP for that long and we could've kept going but we were COLD!!! It was a fun date and it showed me that you can go on a date with someone just to get to know them and there doesn't have to be anything romantic about it. You can just go and have a good time and it is OK!!!
I did see him again a few days later at a group date that my friend and I planned, I will definitely tell you about that...but as of last week this guy and my friend got engaged as of yesterday they aren't anymore!! I have no idea but I do know that my friend and this guy are absolutely ADORABLE together and I really hope they get back together because she deserves an AMAZING guy like him. Keep your fingers crossed for them!!!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
I feel like I need to write
Honestly I haven't finished my posts about the widow/widowers conference because I can't find my dang notes!!!!! But today I feel like I need to write something and get myself back in the groove and when I find the notes I promise to finish about the conference if any of you are still interested in what I learned.
I have been thinking a lot lately about life and choices. We have been blessed with in this life with agency and sometimes I wonder if for people like me if that is also a curse. (sorry I am going to be blunt but I am grateful we have it) Normally if there was a decision to be made Clint and I would talk about it, pray about it and decide together. Then we would accept the consequences if there were any but we made the decision to the best of our ability.
Now here I am a widow, I am one that hates to make decisions anyways, I don't have Clint to hash out the details of every choice and have him to comfort me when it is a hard one. Also it seems like when you are a young widow EVERYONE has to question EVERYTHING little choice you make. I don't know if they are just trying to be protective, helpful or know-it-alls but sometimes it is annoying. I wouldn't mind if they gave advice on things that really matter like...where to live but on things like...when you should start dating it gets a little old.
Unfortunately not every answer is going to fall into your lap and you have to keep on trudging through until you find the right answer. This life is full of ups and downs and it seems like everyday you are facing something new but when I start to get overwhelmed I read this quote:
"There is nothing that we are enduring that Jesus does not understand, and He waits for us to go to our Heavenly Father in prayer. I testify that if we will be obedient and if we are diligent, our prayers will be answered, our problems will diminish, our fears will dissipate, light will come upon us, the darkness of despair will be dispersed, and we will be close to the Lord and feel of His love and of the comfort of the Holy Ghost. It is my prayer that we can find the faith, courage, and strength to endure to the end so that we may feel the joy of faithfully returning to the arms of our Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen."
I have been thinking a lot lately about life and choices. We have been blessed with in this life with agency and sometimes I wonder if for people like me if that is also a curse. (sorry I am going to be blunt but I am grateful we have it) Normally if there was a decision to be made Clint and I would talk about it, pray about it and decide together. Then we would accept the consequences if there were any but we made the decision to the best of our ability.
Now here I am a widow, I am one that hates to make decisions anyways, I don't have Clint to hash out the details of every choice and have him to comfort me when it is a hard one. Also it seems like when you are a young widow EVERYONE has to question EVERYTHING little choice you make. I don't know if they are just trying to be protective, helpful or know-it-alls but sometimes it is annoying. I wouldn't mind if they gave advice on things that really matter like...where to live but on things like...when you should start dating it gets a little old.
Unfortunately not every answer is going to fall into your lap and you have to keep on trudging through until you find the right answer. This life is full of ups and downs and it seems like everyday you are facing something new but when I start to get overwhelmed I read this quote:
"There is nothing that we are enduring that Jesus does not understand, and He waits for us to go to our Heavenly Father in prayer. I testify that if we will be obedient and if we are diligent, our prayers will be answered, our problems will diminish, our fears will dissipate, light will come upon us, the darkness of despair will be dispersed, and we will be close to the Lord and feel of His love and of the comfort of the Holy Ghost. It is my prayer that we can find the faith, courage, and strength to endure to the end so that we may feel the joy of faithfully returning to the arms of our Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen."
*Elder Robert D. Hales*
Here is one more that he says: We cannot expect to learn endurance in our later years if we have developed the habit of quitting when things get difficult now.
So in this life when we are totally overwhelmed with life and choices and are completely unsure if the path we are on is the right one we just need to remember to endure...keep on going until we get prompted to do something else. I am pretty sure that my kids are always watching me and if I get in the habit of quitting then they will learn that and that isn't at all what I want for them. So I guess I just answered one of my own questions...instead of moving back to AZ, when Joy leaves in August, I will just stick it out here. It would be so much easier to go back because I have so much love and support out there and people that are always willing to help. But I know I was told to move out here even though I don't know the reason why, so I guess I will just keep at it until I get told otherwise even though it will be difficult on me. I hope and pray that I can do it. I also hope and pray that you, my readers can keep on enduring and live life to its fullest.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
10 years already
Ok so I am not finishing my last story at the moment because I have been working on something else that I thought I just might share. This coming weekend is my 10 year reunion from High School (crazy I know and NO I am NOT OLD!!!). Since I can't make it they asked me to write a "What I have been doing the past 10yrs" update thing and I thought hey I haven't blogged in a while and I just wrote this for my classmates I will kill two birds with one stone and put it on my blog!! Lazy? Yeah probably. Good idea? ABSOLUTELY!!! So please enjoy the run down of my last 10 years out of High School!!!!!! ENJOY :)
What have I done with the last 10yrs of my life? I feel like I have lived an entire lifetime in the past 10yrs which if I really think about it I have lived an entire lifetime…I have lived, loved and lost…
Right after graduation I started school at Cochise Community College not really majoring in anything, just getting my basics out of the way. In December I moved out and into a place with Melissa Greene and Jennifer Kloos. We had tons of fun until I moved out right before I got married. I married my High School love Clinton Flake on February 16th 2001 in Las Vegas, Nevada. Umm…nope I wasn’t pregnant or anything we just decided that is where we wanted to get married and loved every minute of our wedding there. We lived in Benson, AZ for a little while longer until we decided to move to IDAHO!! In June of 2001 we headed out for Idaho and we lived with my cousin Joy and her husband Clinton. I worked at a Fitness Center and he worked as a debt collector for a cell phone company. We loved Idaho but the time came when we felt the need to move back to AZ so we left and moved into Thatcher, AZ. During this time I had two miscarriages pretty close together and it was really hard on me but thanks to a great husband I got through it.
Shortly after we got there I enrolled in the Safford School of Beauty to become a cosmetologist and Clinton quickly found work as a mechanic. On our 1yr anniversary we got sealed in the Mesa, AZ Temple and it was a wonderful time in our life. On May 16, 2002 our first child came into our life he was 8 days late and we were excited to have him, his name is Mathew James Flake he weighed in at 10lbs 12oz. Clinton moved jobs to E.A. Glass and in January of 2003 I graduated Beauty School and started working as a Cosmetologist. We bought our first house right after I graduated and moved into Safford, AZ it was the perfect house for our growing family. I shortly found out I was pregnant with our second child and had to stop working because of complications and Benjamin Harris Flake arrived on November 28, 2003 exactly one week early he weighed 7lbs 11oz.
After having 2 kids so close together we needed a break!!! Clinton started a new job at Valley Security where he stayed until last year. I started a Mary Kay business and did really well with it for quite some time. We basically lived our life happily for several years and we did a lot of traveling to visit and spend time with family that didn’t live close to us. The end of 2005 we found out I was expecting our third child and we were pretty excited. I had major problems with this pregnancy and was flown to Tucson where I stayed for 3 weeks until he came into our life 3 weeks early on July 31, 2006, his name is Nathan Lee Flake, he weighed 7lbs 4oz. Six weeks after he was born I enrolled in school with Joy, my Aunt Karen and my sister Valerie. We took 18 credits and at the end of the semester got our Medical Transcription Certificates. I started some part time work doing this but it is really hard to find a job in this field unless you have prior experience but I was glad to have something to fall back on “just in case” even though it wasn’t what I really wanted to do with my life.
After I had Nathan I was told I could only have 1 more child and we found out we were expecting not long after having him. I told Clint that this was my last shot for a girl and he better get it right!!! On January 14,2008 2 weeks early our little girl made her entrance into this world weighing in at 9lbs 10oz we named her Alizabeth Joy Flake. We had our family completed we had 4 kids in 5 years, Clinton had just bought Valley Security and I was staying home with our kids…life couldn’t be more perfect!!
In March of 2008 I came home from a trip and Clinton was pretty sick, which was surprising because he was NEVER sick!!! We took him to the Dr and they realized he was anemic he iron level was at a 7 and they were pretty shocked with that. So after some tests they decided to send him to a gastroenterologist who later said he had Ulcerative Colitis. We started a diet for him that took out 25 foods that he was told he was allergic to and if we took them out of his diet he would start to feel better. We did this for 6 months and he wasn’t getting any better and I was pretty concerned so I took him back to his specialist in January of 2009 and he stuck with his initial diagnosis. So we kept at it for another couple of moths. In March of 2009 he needed to get his first blood transfusion while we were there our family Dr wanted to do a CAT scan of his belly because he was concerned about it rupturing because he was pretty distended well that scan showed our worst fears…they found masses!!
From there they sent him to TMC and they did some biopsies and blood work and the results made my world stop: Stage IV Metastatic Colon Cancer, it had already spread to his liver. They started his first round of chemo the next day. We figured no problem we will get through this and he is going to beat it because he is only 28 and was always so healthy. We did 9 rounds of chemo and in between chemo treatments we would travel and just enjoy our life together. In August of 2009 we decided to do a major surgery that would remove his colon so that the chemo can start working on his liver. While they were in surgery they found cancer all over: his pelvis, abdomen, stomach, kidneys…basically everything from his liver to his colon was covered in cancer. We were shocked, we had no idea that his cancer was that extensive but we were still determined to fight it. As he was recovering from major surgery he just wasn’t doing well and he was not eating and on Sept 25th he slipped into a coma at home and I rushed him to the hospital and they realized he had no blood sugar because the cancer invaded his pancreas. We were able to pull him out of his coma and he looked at me and said it was his time to go home. I made the calls to all of our family and they started the trek to Safford to say their good-byes. The hardest people to tell were my children I didn’t think that conversation would ever take place. He talked and counseled over 100 people in the hospital on the next day and then he passed away on Sept 27th, 2009.
I still can’t believe that he is gone but I wouldn’t want anyone else watching over me and the kids than him. That day started my new life: April the Widow and single mother of 4 amazing children. I decided we needed a new start and I promised him that I would go to school to get the degree that I have always wanted and would make me happy. So in October 2009 I applied and auditioned for Boise State University and I got accepted. In November 2009 we left Safford and set out on our new life in Idaho. We have bought a house in Caldwell, ID and I am attending Boise State University for a degree in Music Education. We love it up here but miss our friends and family in Arizona but we visit as often as we can. So I have lived a whole lifetime in 10 years and it has been an amazing experience. I am sad that I can’t be there this weekend to see all of you but I hope you much happiness in your future. I have learned so much during these last 10 years and it will be amazing to see what the next 10 years brings me.
Much love!!
April Forbes Flake
What have I done with the last 10yrs of my life? I feel like I have lived an entire lifetime in the past 10yrs which if I really think about it I have lived an entire lifetime…I have lived, loved and lost…
Right after graduation I started school at Cochise Community College not really majoring in anything, just getting my basics out of the way. In December I moved out and into a place with Melissa Greene and Jennifer Kloos. We had tons of fun until I moved out right before I got married. I married my High School love Clinton Flake on February 16th 2001 in Las Vegas, Nevada. Umm…nope I wasn’t pregnant or anything we just decided that is where we wanted to get married and loved every minute of our wedding there. We lived in Benson, AZ for a little while longer until we decided to move to IDAHO!! In June of 2001 we headed out for Idaho and we lived with my cousin Joy and her husband Clinton. I worked at a Fitness Center and he worked as a debt collector for a cell phone company. We loved Idaho but the time came when we felt the need to move back to AZ so we left and moved into Thatcher, AZ. During this time I had two miscarriages pretty close together and it was really hard on me but thanks to a great husband I got through it.
Shortly after we got there I enrolled in the Safford School of Beauty to become a cosmetologist and Clinton quickly found work as a mechanic. On our 1yr anniversary we got sealed in the Mesa, AZ Temple and it was a wonderful time in our life. On May 16, 2002 our first child came into our life he was 8 days late and we were excited to have him, his name is Mathew James Flake he weighed in at 10lbs 12oz. Clinton moved jobs to E.A. Glass and in January of 2003 I graduated Beauty School and started working as a Cosmetologist. We bought our first house right after I graduated and moved into Safford, AZ it was the perfect house for our growing family. I shortly found out I was pregnant with our second child and had to stop working because of complications and Benjamin Harris Flake arrived on November 28, 2003 exactly one week early he weighed 7lbs 11oz.
After having 2 kids so close together we needed a break!!! Clinton started a new job at Valley Security where he stayed until last year. I started a Mary Kay business and did really well with it for quite some time. We basically lived our life happily for several years and we did a lot of traveling to visit and spend time with family that didn’t live close to us. The end of 2005 we found out I was expecting our third child and we were pretty excited. I had major problems with this pregnancy and was flown to Tucson where I stayed for 3 weeks until he came into our life 3 weeks early on July 31, 2006, his name is Nathan Lee Flake, he weighed 7lbs 4oz. Six weeks after he was born I enrolled in school with Joy, my Aunt Karen and my sister Valerie. We took 18 credits and at the end of the semester got our Medical Transcription Certificates. I started some part time work doing this but it is really hard to find a job in this field unless you have prior experience but I was glad to have something to fall back on “just in case” even though it wasn’t what I really wanted to do with my life.
After I had Nathan I was told I could only have 1 more child and we found out we were expecting not long after having him. I told Clint that this was my last shot for a girl and he better get it right!!! On January 14,2008 2 weeks early our little girl made her entrance into this world weighing in at 9lbs 10oz we named her Alizabeth Joy Flake. We had our family completed we had 4 kids in 5 years, Clinton had just bought Valley Security and I was staying home with our kids…life couldn’t be more perfect!!
In March of 2008 I came home from a trip and Clinton was pretty sick, which was surprising because he was NEVER sick!!! We took him to the Dr and they realized he was anemic he iron level was at a 7 and they were pretty shocked with that. So after some tests they decided to send him to a gastroenterologist who later said he had Ulcerative Colitis. We started a diet for him that took out 25 foods that he was told he was allergic to and if we took them out of his diet he would start to feel better. We did this for 6 months and he wasn’t getting any better and I was pretty concerned so I took him back to his specialist in January of 2009 and he stuck with his initial diagnosis. So we kept at it for another couple of moths. In March of 2009 he needed to get his first blood transfusion while we were there our family Dr wanted to do a CAT scan of his belly because he was concerned about it rupturing because he was pretty distended well that scan showed our worst fears…they found masses!!
From there they sent him to TMC and they did some biopsies and blood work and the results made my world stop: Stage IV Metastatic Colon Cancer, it had already spread to his liver. They started his first round of chemo the next day. We figured no problem we will get through this and he is going to beat it because he is only 28 and was always so healthy. We did 9 rounds of chemo and in between chemo treatments we would travel and just enjoy our life together. In August of 2009 we decided to do a major surgery that would remove his colon so that the chemo can start working on his liver. While they were in surgery they found cancer all over: his pelvis, abdomen, stomach, kidneys…basically everything from his liver to his colon was covered in cancer. We were shocked, we had no idea that his cancer was that extensive but we were still determined to fight it. As he was recovering from major surgery he just wasn’t doing well and he was not eating and on Sept 25th he slipped into a coma at home and I rushed him to the hospital and they realized he had no blood sugar because the cancer invaded his pancreas. We were able to pull him out of his coma and he looked at me and said it was his time to go home. I made the calls to all of our family and they started the trek to Safford to say their good-byes. The hardest people to tell were my children I didn’t think that conversation would ever take place. He talked and counseled over 100 people in the hospital on the next day and then he passed away on Sept 27th, 2009.
I still can’t believe that he is gone but I wouldn’t want anyone else watching over me and the kids than him. That day started my new life: April the Widow and single mother of 4 amazing children. I decided we needed a new start and I promised him that I would go to school to get the degree that I have always wanted and would make me happy. So in October 2009 I applied and auditioned for Boise State University and I got accepted. In November 2009 we left Safford and set out on our new life in Idaho. We have bought a house in Caldwell, ID and I am attending Boise State University for a degree in Music Education. We love it up here but miss our friends and family in Arizona but we visit as often as we can. So I have lived a whole lifetime in 10 years and it has been an amazing experience. I am sad that I can’t be there this weekend to see all of you but I hope you much happiness in your future. I have learned so much during these last 10 years and it will be amazing to see what the next 10 years brings me.
Much love!!
April Forbes Flake
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