I feel like I need to write

Honestly I haven't finished my posts about the widow/widowers conference because I can't find my dang notes!!!!! But today I feel like I need to write something and get myself back in the groove and when I find the notes I promise to finish about the conference if any of you are still interested in what I learned.

I have been thinking a lot lately about life and choices. We have been blessed with in this life with agency and sometimes I wonder if for people like me if that is also a curse. (sorry I am going to be blunt but I am grateful we have it) Normally if there was a decision to be made Clint and I would talk about it, pray about it and decide together. Then we would accept the consequences if there were any but we made the decision to the best of our ability.

Now here I am a widow, I am one that hates to make decisions anyways, I don't have Clint to hash out the details of every choice and have him to comfort me when it is a hard one. Also it seems like when you are a young widow EVERYONE has to question EVERYTHING little choice you make. I don't know if they are just trying to be protective, helpful or know-it-alls but sometimes it is annoying. I wouldn't mind if they gave advice on things that really matter like...where to live but on things like...when you should start dating it gets a little old.

Unfortunately not every answer is going to fall into your lap and you have to keep on trudging through until you find the right answer. This life is full of ups and downs and it seems like everyday you are facing something new but when I start to get overwhelmed I read this quote:

"There is nothing that we are enduring that Jesus does not understand, and He waits for us to go to our Heavenly Father in prayer. I testify that if we will be obedient and if we are diligent, our prayers will be answered, our problems will diminish, our fears will dissipate, light will come upon us, the darkness of despair will be dispersed, and we will be close to the Lord and feel of His love and of the comfort of the Holy Ghost. It is my prayer that we can find the faith, courage, and strength to endure to the end so that we may feel the joy of faithfully returning to the arms of our Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

                                                   *Elder Robert D. Hales*

Here is one more that he says: We cannot expect to learn endurance in our later years if we have developed the habit of quitting when things get difficult now.

So in this life when we are totally overwhelmed with life and choices and are completely unsure if the path we are on is the right one we just need to remember to endure...keep on going until we get prompted to do something else. I am pretty sure that my kids are always watching me and if I get in the habit of quitting then they will learn that and that isn't at all what I want for them. So I guess I just answered one of my own questions...instead of moving back to AZ, when Joy leaves in August, I will just stick it out here. It would be so much easier to go back because I have so much love and support out there and people that are always willing to help. But I know I was told to move out here even though I don't know the reason why,  so I guess I will just keep at it until I get told otherwise even though it will be difficult on me. I hope and pray that I can do it.  I also hope and pray that you, my readers can keep on enduring and live life to its fullest.