Close your eyes and imagine this:
You suddenly find yourself a widow (I know not a pleasant thought) and you are not sure what to do with your life and you have 4 kids that depend on you. Suddenly you are given an idea and you take it as long as it takes you far away from your old life because it hurts too much to be there without him. You pack up and move over 18hrs away and start a "new life" from scratch. You finally get into a big, beautiful house. You spend lots of time and money painting, decorating and making it just the way you want it. You try to get your life and your kids' life back on track all the while facing doubts about what you are doing especially when they are voiced to you by others. All you can do is pray and ask for guidance.
Some days you think we are doing great everything will be just fine other days you just want to crawl in a hole somewhere. In the back of your mind you think maybe just maybe we should move back to be around family and friends that love and support us but this area has so much to offer the kids. Then one day your oldest says "Mom I LOVE Idaho but I LOVE Arizona much more." "Why?" you ask. He says "Because we have family and friends that love us." Then you say "But we have such a beautiful house here!!" Then the second oldest pipes up and say "Mom I don't care if we have a beautiful house here...I just want to go back to Arizona...I miss Grandma and all of my friends, I don't have any friends here, plus I miss daddy and going to his grave."
So you sit down and start to make a list of pros and cons of staying a going. You realize quickly that both places can be good for you and the kids, there really is no BEST answer. You start praying really, really hard and go to the Temple to just sit and think and hope the answer will come to you. You counsel with your Bishop, your old Bishop, your Mom, your Sister, your friend who is more like a Brother, 3 other Widows (1 who is in your exact position) and try to even counsel with your hubby and hope he is listening. Basically you come up with this: Either one is a good choice and maybe you just have to make the choice. You know that you were supposed to move here for a reason and maybe that reason has already been fulfilled. You were guided to read Joshua 1:9 and basically it says that the Lord is with you whithersoever thou goest.
So my question to you is...what would you do if you were in this situation? Would you stay put and try to make it work or would you go back ?
*Please comment on this one I would love to see what you would do!! :) *
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You don't know me... I'm just a stalker, actually Jami can vouch for me. I'm a former widow, my husband passed away 18 almost 19 months ago. That's a hard question to answer, but honestly if you don't feel anything holding you in Idaho and you really want your kids and yourself to be happy then move back. If you don't feel that urge anymore to be in Idaho I'd start packing. I know your hubby will support you in whatever choice you make. :) That probably didn't help but I think your kids are telling you what they need the most and that's to be surrounded by friends and family. And there is nothing more important than that.
ReplyDeleteEm I have totally seen you on Jami's blog, nice to meet you :) What you say is totally true, it is just hard to make the decision...ugh!
ReplyDeleteYou are super brave for moving away in the first place. But I think if I were in your position I wouldn't want to stay in Arizona where memories would just be bombarding you every day.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, its hard to explain to kids why you moved away in the first place. And even harder to explain to them why you are staying there.
I don't know what I would do if I were you. Maybe just wait it out a while longer. You can always move back in a couple of years. Maybe they'll change their minds between now and then.