I have a Kyle?

You are probably wondering who Kyle is...well let me get on with this post and then I will explain at the very end. After I went to visit RFC the first time I went two more times and both time we had a blast. Christmas time and New Years come and go and he really talked with me and helped me get through those first holidays of my widowdom. January comes and we are still talking on the phone three times a day and texting all the time. Then all of a sudden his answers on his texts are getting shorter and shorter.

I went on a trip to AZ to get stuff taken care of down there and I stopped to see him. It was like a 10min visit just to say hi. I go inside and show him what I have been working on for him and he seems pretty excited. I sit down by him and talk about some stuff and all of a sudden he stands up and moves to the recliner across the room. I thought well that was pretty weird maybe he wants a more comfy seat. Then I decide I should hit the road and ask him if he wants to finally meet my sister, him and Valerie have talked several times and joked with each other on the phone, he says SURE!! We go out to my car and they meet and kid with each other and he tells me to drive safe and to let him know when I make it.

On my trip I was thinking about how awkward he was acting and I couldn't figure out why. While I was in AZ it got worse every time I tried to talk with him he either wouldn't answer or was very abrupt with me, so I decided to not contact him until he initiates it, which was SOO hard. Sometime after Christmas he told me he wasn't ready for a relationship (neither was I honestly) and he wanted to become better friends. He and I talked all the time and he was becoming an amazing friend so to not talk with him was pretty much killing me. I was racking my brain to figure out what I said or did to offend him and I couldn't put my finger on it.

Finally not long ago I figured out what was wrong. I was on facebook just playing around and I got a notification that he was tagged in a photo. I thought cool I wanna see the picture...what I saw almost made me throw up. HE WAS KISSING A GIRL!!!! I went through quite few emotions pretty fast but the biggest one was anger. What happened to our 100% honesty policy? Where was the respect...we weren't together but we were friends...why didn't he tell me? So of course I tell Val and Jami. They both start reaming on him and it of course makes me feel better and so I decide to just let him go out of my life.

I swear he has this sense and once I decided that one week later I am on facebook again and he IM's me. I wasn't sure what to say to him or if I wanted to talk to him and I IM Jami and asked what I should do and she thinks I should confront him about it. I am NOT a confrontational person so I had no idea what to say. He starts the conversation and wants an update on my life and wants to know how I am doing. So I tell him and then I ask so are you happy? He says I suppose so. Through this whole conversation he never mentions his girlfriend. Finally he decides he has to go and I say congrats on your new woman, I hope she makes you happy. He says thanks. Then (OK I sometimes cuss when I am angry and he knew that because he is the same way and I still was angry) I say but you should have told me about it instead of letting me find out on facebook you ass. Yes I said that!! His response? Was nothing, he said nothing!! Did I feel better about calling him out on it? You better believe I did!!

So you are asking yourself right now, where is Kyle in all of this right? Or is RFC's name Kyle? No it is not. If any of you know my family or my sisters you know that Kyle is the name of a guy Val dated. So now if there is a guy who you can see yourself with and down the road being happy together and he gets freaked out by it and gets a girlfriend but wants to stay friends with you but that friendship only extends to a once a month hey how are you because they want to keep girlfriend happy then you have a Kyle. After I told Val about RFC she looked at me and said April he is your Kyle. I thought to myself about that for a moment and answered yes he is. I knew then that nothing would ever transpire between me and RFC and I wish him luck. I may talk bad about him to Jami every once in a while but that is about as far as we will ever go. I am just mad that I lost a friend but people come in and out of our lives for different reasons and when those reasons have been fulfilled it is time for them to move on, this has been an adventure that I have learned a lot from and I am ready to keep searching until I find a guy who won't be a Kyle.